NEW Plot/Synopsis for Thriller

We are keeping in the idea of having a drug deal that goes wrong, but taking out the background story of the men being fired from work, etc.

We have made the changes due to the narrative being unreadable how it was before, so we have simplified it, and also, the mise en scene changed too much in our origional film, so now our film has all the same sort of mise en scene (a dark, gritty, urban theme).

We will still use 4 of the characters, but their background stories are not the same for Scott and Tony.

Characters:
Scott - Friends with Tony. Is one of the two men selling cocaine.
Tony - Friends with Scott. Is one of the two men selling cocaine.
Gangster/Junkie 1 - Friends with Gangster/Junkie 2. Is one of the men buying cocaine.
Gangster/Junkie 2 - Friends with Gangster/Junkie 1. Is one of the men buying cocaine.

Here is our new synopsis:

A car pulls up at the entrance of an abandoned warehouse, two men (Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2) in the car get out; one man gets out with a bag.

Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 enter the building where Scott and Tony greet them. They all sit down at a table in a small, dark room. Scott gives the Gangster/Junkie 1 a small bag of cocaine to test. Then once it’s agreed the coke is good stuff, they get the big briefcase full of fake cocaine out. Gangster/Junkie 2 pays for the whole briefcase full of cocaine.

Scott calls a higher authority to confirm the money has been recieved. The audience know this but not the Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2, which helps add mystery to the plot as the story unravels. Scott leaves the room, then when Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 are sniffing more coke he comes and gets Tony to come out to talk on the phone. Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 think nothing of it as they have the suitcase of cocaine in the room.

Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 are sitting at the table and decide to sniff the cocaine in the briefcase. Gangster/Junkie 1 sticks his hand in the case and pulls out a bag. He opens it, grabs a pinch of coke and tastes it. He then realises it is fake and they run to the door, but the door has been locked by Scott and Tony. As the cocaine turns out to be fake, this acts as a small plot twist in the plot as the audience and Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 thought it was real.

As Scott and Tony are walking away from the building, Gangster/Junkies 1 & 2 manage to break out the room earlier than expected. They catch up with Scott and Tony outside and one of them pulls out a gun and fires the gun, but then cuts straight to the opening credits and it is unknown at this point who has been shot. This acts as a cliff hanger and helps add suspense and mystery.

After the credits it goes to a shot of Scott tied up in a small dark room. He struggles to get loose but cannot. The audience are left wondering what happened.